Surviving the Holidays with S.A.D. – 2025 Edition

You don’t have to make December look like a holiday advert. Be gentle with yourself, put your needs first, and remember that a quiet night in is every bit as seasonal as a loud one out. And if in doubt, there’s always room for a nap and a bit of pie.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Hanukkah and parties, parties parties!

Here we are again—another year, another round of being sociable for the holidays, when you want to stay home, preferably in bed. It’s just too hard to stay motivated, cook all the things, be the perfect host, or guest, and stay calm.

If all the fuss makes you want to crawl under your favourite duvet with a hot chocolate instead of being Hallmark perfect, you’re in good company. Lots of us with seasonal affective disorder. find the holidays to be less dazzle, more “where’s my escape button?” If you’re looking for gentle ways to get through the season, let me share what’s helped me along the way.

Keep the Season Doable

Plan ahead.
Planning ahead isn’t about being boring or dictating every minute, it’s about self-care. Call it a favour to your future self. You can say NO to certain events that you know will drain you. Being prepared will let you set boundaries and create the breathing room you need to truly enjoy the moment. A small investment of time now makes life easier, helping you handle challenges like unexpected guests or lacking the motivation to cook. Most importantly, making a plan gives me a sense of control, which is something we could all use, especially when the holidays start to feel a bit overwhelming.

For example, back with the baking example. I use my more sunny or energetic days to create and freeze ahead if I can. I also keep my menus super simple! If you can afford it, pre-buy ready prepped dishes. Anything which will make your life easier.

Give Yourself Permission.

Forget the holiday adverts that make December look like one continuous party full of cheer and laughter. No one is “on” 24/7 all month long not even the people who seem to have it all together. Sometimes, just getting through the day and managing to slap a smile on your face is a win. So why not yourself permission to skip the holiday performance if you need to. It’s totally okay to feel whatever you’re feeling, whether that’s joy, exhaustion, or just plain old meh. The real prize here is tuning in to yourself, prioritizing your well-being over pressure, and letting go of any ideas about what you “should” be feeling. This holiday season, your feelings are valid even if they don’t fit with everyone else’s.

Set Your Boundaries

Take it from me, saying no can feel awkward, but you know what’s even worse? Burnout. You are allowed to say nope to invitations, steer conversations away from drama, and leave early if your battery’s running flat.

Schedule Your Calm

Book your favourite “me time” in the calendar before you lock in dates and dinners—whether that’s a long bath or an hour with your favourite book. Or my preference, an hour in the bath with bubbles and my favourite book…Bliss.

Get a winter self-care list.

Boss Your Social Game

If you’re heading to an event, it helps to have a game plan so you’re not caught off guard:

• Sort out when the party starts and ends, and what’s happening.
• What will you wear, and how will you get there.
• Prepare a few easy icebreaker questions, just in case you draw a blank.
• Decide in advance when you’ll make an exit. You don’t get a medal for staying to the end.
• Bring someone who won’t judge you for skipping out early.

When You Arrive, Take A Moment

Right before you step inside, give yourself a moment. Take a big breath, give yourself a little pep talk, or whisper to yourself something like, “I’ll sneak out after pudding if I need to.” It might sound simple, but this will help build a little shell of calm around you. When I’m nervous I use a little EFT to calm myself down. Walking into a buzzing room can feel overwhelming, especially when S.A.D. makes everything seem heavier than usual. So, remind yourself that it’s okay to take things at your own pace. We don’t have to be “on” or keep up with everyone else’s energy, and you are allowed to leave as soon as you feel ready. Little gestures like this can make a big difference in how you experience the evening turning it from something stressful into something manageable and maybe even fun. And don’t forget, you’re not alone; plenty of us are quietly doing the same thing.

Real Connection Wins Over Small Talk

Don’t worry about working the room like a pro. Remember those questions you prepped earlier? Just focus on chatting with one friendly soul. Sometimes that’s all you need to remember you’re not alone.

I’m actually shy, (pause here while my friends attempt to control their hysterical laughter), and I will usually find someone friendly and stick close to them. Finding a single meaningful connection in a crowd can be your anchor and sometimes that’s absolutely all you need to settle your nerves. That one genuine conversation, perhaps about a shared interest or a funny observation, validates your presence and makes a large, overwhelming event feel suddenly much smaller and more manageable. You can take a deep breath, truly listen, and enjoy the relief of knowing you’ve found a kindred spirit.

Find Your Quiet Patch

If things get rowdy, it’s completely fine to slope off for a minute. You could head outside for some fresh air, sneak off to the kitchen and linger near the nibbles, or even pretend you’re admiring the decor.. Seriously, there’s no shame in giving yourself a quick break. Those little pauses can be just what you need to catch your breath, reset, and come back feeling more like yourself. It’s your party too, so take care of yourself however you need.

Looking After Number One

Never feel guilty for putting yourself first.

Think of it as giving yourself permission to recharge so you can enjoy this time more, on your own terms.

Taking care of yourself means you’ll be better equipped to face whatever the season brings, whether that’s family gatherings, social events, or simply the shorter, darker days.

Chase That Daylight

Try and get outside when you can—the sun’s a bit unreliable here in Vancouver in winter, but every bit of light helps boost your serotonin and your mood. And while our brains are telling our bodies to hibernate we need downtime and sleep! Remember to eat properly and keep good sleep habits.

Wishing you a peaceful, comfortable holiday—however that looks for you.

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